It’s only 24 hours since we arrived in the south of France for a month’s vacation and already there has been the first tangle with bureaucracy. The rental house has a Nespresso machine so I try to order some capsules on the web. This is not a new procedure: I have used Nespresso in the U.K. and U.S., without ever having a problem, and I’ve used it in France without (too much) difficulty in previous years.
This year, however, I can add to the stories on the web from people who have ordered Nespresso capsules online and received the infamous code 711, which says that the order cannot be completed without calling Nespresso. The general complaint is that the credit card gets charged, but Nespresso denies charging it and coffee never comes.
The Nespresso site says proudly that service is available 24/7. So I call Nespresso. Well it turns out that 24/7 in France means not on Sundays. So this morning I call the Nespresso phone line. The representative wants my account number and address, but then informs me that the details are incorrect and for security reasons Nespresso cannot not fulfill the order. Security reasons! this is coffee not a bank account.
I point out that I am actually reading the details to him from a screen with my account details on the Nespresso site. This has no effect: the details are wrong, he says. I ask for a supervisor. He refuses and then disconnects. (In the interests of full disclosure I should state that the phone line was not very clear, and the conversation was, of course, in French, which is not my native language.)
So I have a useless machine! Ah, but there may be a solution. The Nespresso site offers two means of ordering coffee: you can pay with a credit card; or you can ask for the coffee to be sent with an invoice. I repeat my order, but instead of actually paying, I promise to pay an invoice. Voila! the site accepts the order.
Is this crazy or is this crazy? There’s a supposed problem with the credit card, a candidate for the most obtuse person employed in France refuses to sort it out (is Nespresso an employer of the last resort?), but they’ll send the coffee anyway on the basis of a promise to pay. Bienvenue à la France! Ah well, we have to see whether it will really come. If not I may be forced to stick to wine.